I was supposed to come out with part-II of my chronicles, but I guess I’ll just postpone writing it for some other ‘sober’ time. This post on the other is set against the backdrop of ‘intoxicated’ moments .
Before I begin this post I have to acknowledge the fact that it takes very little to get me tipsy…who am I kidding?? I get completely sloshed and it’s not even funny. While I’ve noticed people totally losing it when wasted ( aye aye :S) I couldn’t help but make a note of the thoughts that run through my head at that point of time so that I can analyze them when I’m in full control of my actions. It’s then I realised that my actions during that period are guided by my subconscious thoughts, those things you shove to the back of your head beacause you are not sure how others around you will respond to them ( low self-confidence to put it nicely). All those things you try to hide in that one corner of your mind just come bursting out because the closet that reads: ‘disregarded thoughts & emotions’ gets inundated with variety of complex feelings we put inside it.
My mom always talks about her first job interview where she was asked to describe ‘catharsis‘. This word of Greek origin, refers to a powerful stimulus that leads in a release of pent up energy and emotions, a phenomena I consider very important if sanity is to be maintained. In Greek the precise meaning would be ’emotional cleansing’.
While my mom did tell me that this often happens when you’ve seen a drama or a movie packed with emotions, I found out that alcohol does the same to you. So does senility.
It just makes me sad that I need to be stoned to realise who I really am and what I really want.